The Sojourner

Grandma's Party

2008-12-02T08:14:00.000-08:00

This Sunday was Grandma Fields' 75th birthday! We had the party at my cousin Jocelyn and her husband Danny's house. It was a very nice party with lots of food, music, and guests.

One of the guests was actually my dad who I haven't seen/spoken to since my junior year of high school. We don't have a relationship because of past issues of emotional abuse from his wife. I was really nervous to see him but it actually wasn't that bad, which was a relief. We just talked about his job and my school and stuff like that. I was worried that he was going to try and forge some kind of relationship with me, which I definitely do not want, but that luckily didn't happen. I was happy to get that awkwardness out of the way.

On another note, this weekend I am going to Chicago to go shopping with Campus House women's ministry! I miss Chicago and I'm very excited to get to go back. I went back over Halloween and I'm going for a CSM trip in March. I miss my favorite city!

Weekend in Tulsa

2008-11-24T06:25:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I went on a road trip to Tulsa, OK for the National Missionary Convention. It was a super fun weekend, despite the two cross country drives that we completed overnight.

Thursday we left Muncie around 4pm and drove until arriving at the camp we were staying at around 5:30 am. Bonnie and I shared driving responsibilities, and subsequently did not get a lot of sleep, but we did have some hilarious tired conversations! We also listened to an amazing playlist and "memorized" the Twilight soundtrack since we were going to see it on Friday afternoon. I was glad we had each other to navigate and entertain on the very long and boring drive.

Friday was the start of the convention for us. In the morning, I went to a session called "Making Poverty Personal" and it was amazing! The talk was given by a man named Ash Barker who is Australian. He and his wife and two small children relocated from Melbourne to a slum in Bangkok. They sold everything they own to be missionaries to these people- 80,000 people living in 2 square km with no working sewage system, no protection from the law, and very little hope. Listening to the faith that this family has was just so inspiring. It really challenged me to examine how much faith I am giving to God in what I choose to do. Am I hiding from what I am supposed to do? I have a heart for the urban poor children, but I am trying to fit into a suburban box. However, I can feel a great deal of compassion for the suburban youth as well...so basically I am confused :) Nothing new.

I got a chance to talk to Ash briefly over the course of the convention and buy two of his books, which was really great. In addition, he was the main session speaker on Saturday night. It was neat how I was able to focus the whole conference on the issues of poverty and oppression. I've missed those topics and they really are something I have a passion for. I miss the city and I miss the emotions I feel when I'm there and looking into the eyes of the poor people who have more hope and faith than I do. I miss seeing Jesus in them.

After the sessions, Bonnie, Justine, and I went to see Twilight and just had a great time! The movie really was good and sitting between Bonstance and Justin made it even better. Also, the screaming high school girls made it an even more hilarious movie-watching experience. It was great to have a break and just turn off the brain after driving all night!

Saturday was all workshops and visiting the booths at the mission fair. There were SO MANY booths! It was amazing to see how God's work really is being done all over the world. We found some great options for our summer mission trip- maybe Northern Ireland! I also found a possible internship/way to do my masters. It is at an amazing church that does suburban and urban outreach...and is in Phoenix...hmm. So I am trying to sort that all out and figure out God's plan for Zack and I in the next couple years.

The drive back from Tulsa was much better than the drive there- because Craig drove from 9pm until 5am! What an awesome guy! :) We really appreciated his help, and the fact that he listened to "Jump On It" 5 times.

Now that I am back in Muncie, I am leaving AGAIN tomorrow for Columbus, OH to see cousins for Thanksgiving! Then Dec. 6 I am going to Chicago for a shopping trip! Lots of traveling, which I love.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Addition and Subtraction

2008-11-12T06:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was thought-provoking to say the least. After my final class of the day, I was approached by a girl that I have never spoken to who told me that God had told her to tell me that I would never fit in so I needed to stop trying. I was shocked by her words because no one has ever said anything like that to me, and also because that was something I had been thinking the night before. Quite honestly, my life has not been the way I would like it to be for some time. As I told a friend yesterday, I feel like when I returned from Chicago I tried to dive into this world, but instead I just crash-landed. I was living this awesome Christian life when I was in Chicago and then when I got back, instead of keeping with that, I totally took a nosedive. There was even a point, although I very much hate to admit this, where I was completely disinterested in God stuff. I mean, I went to church and all that, but I didn't care at all. I wasn't reading the Bible ever and certainly not living the way I needed to live to be a good witness and not a hypocrite.

But lately that has started to change, which is a relief to say the least. I have started putting myself back in the word and trying to live the right, albeit more difficult, life. It's a very strange thing, though. When I was living free and easy and just kind of running with the world, I was very anxious and always felt out of control. But now when everything around me is in essence falling apart- from friendships to the plans I have for next year- I am finding peace. Because in the midst of the things that are being taken from me, God is adding more. And the things he adds are exponentially more rewarding and enriching than the things that were taken away. I feel like a fool to an extent because this is not the first time that this has happened to me! Sophomore year, my life totally changed and I lost many things but gained even more. And now it is happening again. I am just thankful for the grace of God and that he continues to see me through when I forget to see him through the muck in my life. I wonder when I will ever wake up from my worldly sleep and live for God in a way that prevents this process of build-up and deep cleansing.

Long week

2008-11-10T06:28:00.000-08:00

Despite the fact that this is the first week in over a month that I do not have any assignments or tests, this is going to be an exceedingly difficult week. I have to have an awkward conversation with someone this week- and it could go badly. In fact, I'm fairly sure that it will go badly, so I'm basically praying that it is only slightly bad and not a total train wreck! I'm generally an optimist, but this situation is making my optimism falter a little bit.

I am also working a lot this week, which is great. Working a lot of hours means getting paid and getting paid means being able to do fun things and- of course- paying the bills. That's sightly important :) However, working retail is exhausting. I never thought it would be because on the surface it looks like all I am doing is hanging out in the store and selling stuff. When you start working retail, you find that there is a lot more than that- there is restocking and exercising unlimited patience with the people that come in- and we ALL know that patience is a huge struggle for me! I really do like my job a lot, I just need to develop my patience and stamina- 8 hours of standing really is tiring, no matter what you might think. It really isn't easy!

So send some encouragement my way! It's gonna be a long one.

Optimism to the max!

2008-11-05T06:21:00.000-08:00

Last night, we watched the first Black president give his acceptance speech. I was so blown away by the sheer number of people in Grant park, waiting to hear Obama give his speech. It was really neat to see so many kinds of people not only across the country, but the world excited about a candidate for once.

Every time he said the phrase "Yes we can" I just got a chill of excitement. That phrase is so true, beyond the political spectrum. What if we all had that attitude about doing things like ending poverty, stopping genocide, and feeding the hungry? Of course these are huge problems for our world that most people think can never be solved. And maybe that's true. But what if we all had the attitude that yes we can change these things. We would obviously face disappointments and setbacks, but maybe with some faith and optimism we could persevere and make some difference. I mean, if we can go from enslaving blacks to having a black president...don't we have the potential to overcome the challenges we are facing now?

A final thought, something I have to get off my chest- if you didn't vote for Obama, don't like Obama, and think you should "move to Canada" because he is elected, I say change your attitude. You don't have to like him. You don't have to agree with a single thing he does as president. However, as an American, you have to at least support him and pray for his success. As one of the commentators on CNN said last night, if Obama fails, the country fails. Like it or not, Obama is your president for at least four years. You can fight this fact for four years, or you can be supportive and take part in community activism to make our country better. Get out and volunteer. Make a difference for the next four years- do not just sit around and whine about the president.

Rant over, if you want to start making a difference from your computer go to www.freerice.com and feed some hungry people!

First Post, some questions

2008-10-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

This new blog will hopefully last- and hopefully I can be consistent with updating! Why the title "The Sojourner"? The definition of a sojourner is "a temporary resident." I feel like this definition describes my life as it is right now and as it will be for the next several years. I am very temporary in my life roles and living locations. Right now, I live in an apartment but that will be over in July. Right now I am a senior in college, but my time as a student will conclude in less that a year! After graduation, I will be taking some time to work for a year but then will come another transition when I move and go to seminary. Then what next?

It will be interesting to see when I outgrow this title, and hence this blog. Or will I always be sojourning, never putting down roots, always in transition? Is life better that way? Is the constant transition what will keep me from becoming a stagnant, boring person?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions, but I am excited to learn and see where these transitive years take me.